angelic insomnia: Spiral (a major work)
Spiral
[...the words you speak][...the black hole][Pistachio Shells]
Poetry has become a part of me. It haunts and ravishes. At times when words don’t come to me I feel lost, and trapped in an endless maze of frustration. It’s almost a feeling of fear that embraces me when I can’t write. Writer’s block is my ultimate enemy, only outdone by myself. When I can’t express myself I feel almost betrayed, only no betrayal I could feel in any other circumstance. Without poetry I am a wilted flower, with it – I blossom.
I’ve always loved to read, I can remember reading books and home when I was younger, and joining the local library so I’d have new and exciting things to read. Before long my love of reading transformed and embraced a love of writing.
I wrote my first poem around the age of seven, and have developed a passion for writing ever since. I even enjoy writing essays, as much as my traditional public school education has allowed me.
But I’d have to say the turning point of my writing came when I began at Lorien Novalis Steiner School two years ago. Before then I would never have believed I could work so much intensity and emotion into my writing. I never realized I could take so many feelings and express them in poetry.
On my first day at the school a dream was born. That dream was to write and get my work published – For the world to read my emotions and experiences in the form of poetry. And that dream has been embraced, and drawn a step closer through the creation of my major work.
This is my major work, 190 pages of poetry, which I have hand bound and titled Spiral. I also hope for it to one day get published. The completion of this book has been a real trial for me. Gathering my poetry together – knowing people would finally read it, and they would look into my soul, was a harder task than you could imagine. And it is only when you believe a task is close to completion that problems arise.
Over the past year I have learnt not to trust computers, or disks. I always keep a hard copy on paper now. The most frustrating and disappointing thing in the world is loosing work, and knowing that those same words and emotions can never be recaptured again.
Once all my poetry had been collected and typed it took my months to format and edit it to my own satisfaction. And I totally overestimated the time it would take to copy and bind the book too. Instead of a day it has taken me weeks, but I finally finished the first 30 copies yesterday, with more to come, and am selling each book for $10. E-mail me at earthangel_48@hotmail.com if you are interested in buying a copy.
Now I have the enormous task ahead of getting published, which is going to be a real challenge, because it’s difficult to get poetry published in Australia. Most publishers won’t even look at a manuscript unless a third of the poet’s work has already been published already and accepted by literary magazines and newspapers. Many authors say the real hard work doesn’t begin until you try to get published. I look forward to the challenge.
I’d like to thank the school, friends and family for supporting me these past two years. And special thanks to Rod and the class of encouraging me to achieve my dreams.
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